I just watched almost an hours worth of tiktoks about wendigos and skinwalkers, and now, alone in my house in rural Maine, I realize that I have made a mistake.

@PostMasterGeneral Thank god you have a dumptruck of an ass to make up for your tiny brain.

@PostMasterGeneral This was the first time in literally three years and it hurt my feelings!

@PostMasterGeneral @radicalrobit [flashes back to reading Silent Hill LPs while living in an apartment complex that got regularly covered by fog] yeah, no, that seems normal

@PostMasterGeneral I always love stories about the goat man or whatever, that's cool and also terrifying!

@PostMasterGeneral anyway, good luck. What did you think of that movie Dreamcatcher where they find all those aliens in Maine?


God, I hated that movie. I saw it in the theater.
Which is wild, because I *loved* like the first 2/3 of it. (And I'll watch literally anything with Olyphant in it.) But as soon as the big reveal happened, I completely checked out.

I should watch it again. 😆

@Juju @Garrison

There are simple rules to follow.

1) Don't go into the woods alone, ever.
2) Don't go out a night alone, ever.

And this is very important:
3) If you hear someone say your name in the woods, no you fucking didn't.

@PostMasterGeneral @Juju @Garrison I love walking in the woods alone at night and saying my own name

@moiety @PostMasterGeneral @Juju @Garrison if i heard a voice whisper my name teethily amongst the trees i would tell them to wendigo fuck themselves

@PostMasterGeneral @Garrison Okay but what if I need a McFlurry at 11pm? Are you just going to refuse doing that and therefore forcing me to divorce you?

@Juju @PostMasterGeneral @Garrison today in the enthralling case of McFlurry vs. Justin Divorce~

@moiety @Juju @Garrison

First of all, I don't think the local McDonald's in this backwater is open that late.

But, I can go into the garage, get into my car, *then* open the garage door with a remote, leave, close the garage door again remotely, and be on my merry way without ever exposing myself to any lurking cryptids.
No problem. 🤷‍♂️

@PostMasterGeneral @moiety @Juju @Garrison if you go to the Floating Arby's, sometimes they have a working mc donalds soft serve machine. there is a cost

@PostMasterGeneral I admire your problem-solving skills when you really don't want to do something.
@moiety @Garrison

@Garrison Get yourself a man with ADHD: IF they do something, they do it creatively with the least amount of effort and sometimes with malicious compliance.
@PostMasterGeneral @moiety

@Juju @moiety @Garrison

You can belittle my critical thinking skills, or you can have late-night ice cream, but not both.

@Juju @moiety @Garrison

My bad.
My ADHD brain reacted to the wrong part.
If I didn't *want* to get you the ice cream, I would find a way to not do it. That's what I meant to say. 😆

@PostMasterGeneral Grew up with the Jersey Devil and now live in Sasquatch country. Never use a salt circle with cryptids, it doesn't stop any of them and just ruins the carpet.


Supposedly, the only real protection from a wendigo is fire, but even that's not a sure thing.

@PostMasterGeneral asa fan of the Hannibal tv series, I only have inappropriate ideas about wendigo.

@PostMasterGeneral I'm sure there's nothing toOHMYGODWHATSTHATATTHEWINDOW oh it's just a moth.

Anyway, it'll all be fine.

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