I have nothing good to say about pears, and you better not get me started on dragonfruit.

@PostMasterGeneral my backyard has an Asian pear tree in it, called a Cho-juro, and those pears come off the tree with a brandy flavor. People always ask me if I've soaked the fruit in something when I hand them a slice to taste, and I say no, the tree grows them just like that.

And when you put those pears in vodka, you can make pear-brandy flavored liqueur and that's not mealy at all.

@PostMasterGeneral I had nothing but European pears for the first 40 years of my life, and then moved to the Pacific Northwest, where Asian pears grow much better in the climate. These pears can be radically different creatures from the Euro varieties.

@PostMasterGeneral a beautiful nothing with occasional crunchy bits that stick in your teeth. it's a metaphor

@PostMasterGeneral dragonfruit are for people who secretly want to eat bars of soap


I'd rather eat soap. At least my tastebuds would know they were alive!

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