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Deeply invested in the absolute *drama* of the turf war occuring between the Bluejays, Mourning Doves, and Chipmunks at my bird feeder.

The Bluejays seem to have the obvious advantage - they're smarter and far more aggressive than their opponents, but the real strength of the Mourning Dove is that it's dumb as shit and while under direct attack from the Jays, just fucking *stares* at them placidly, as if to say, "What are you going to do, stab me?" And then the Bluejay stabs them.

What neither of them know is that while they were dealing with each other, the chipmunk was already literally *inside* the bird feeder, stuffing its pouches to the brim with ill-gotten gains. Like a fucking *Ninja* it darts to and fro, completely unnoticed by the idiot birds.

The wildcards are the Brown-Headed Cowbirds. Whose side are they on? They don't seem bothered by the presence of other birds, and they don't seem to mind sharing the feeder with the chipmunks. They don't take shit from the Jays, but neither do they go on the offensive.
No, they're playing a different game.
I think they have an uneasy alliance with the Sparrows.

@PostMasterGeneral I love it when they do their little wing-lift display, their one and only offensive attack that does absolutely nothing and looks as dumb as they are

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The Snake Post Office

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