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Just placed a lunch order and I've already forgotten what it was I've ordered,

If there's one thing I'm learning from this process, it that there's a veritable *fuckton* of positively mediocre music released in a year.

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At the Snake Post Office we're not heroes, just humble civil serpents.

Effective Immediately: The Snake Post Office will be converting fully to the metric system. The Snake Postal Workers Union has raised valid concerns about the political correctness of continuing to measure things in "feet."

Sometimes I forget that I'm an adult human being who's more or less free to do what I want, when I want, and that kind of freedom is paralyzing. Who can I blame for my inability to accomplish literally *anything*?

Selfie, Eye Contact 

Happy ! Merry !
I hope that *you* specifically, are having A Good One.

This is obviously the About the Author photo for my book of pretentious poems about communism.


What if they were *already* vampires and they left their children in hopes they might be able to live otherwise normal lives?

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Is Fastball's The Way a song about a couple abandoning their children, and attempting to become vampires? I say, yes. In this essay...

I made eggs benny for breakfast and my kid wouldn't even try the hollandaise.

I mean, more for me, but what kind of maniac doesn't like hollandaise?

Happy Thursday, Friends!
It's time for another !

This is The One About MURDERWALKING.
Just under 50 songs that'll make you emanate such strong do *not* fuck with me vibes that people will leap out of your way when you're stomping down the street with your headphones on.

Enjoy Responsibly.

As always, if you want to participate in future lists, just holler at me! (Or whisper it in my DMs, either way.)

My ex-wife still misses me. Her aim is flawless, a truly fatal work of art, but at the critical moment, she finds it hard to take the shot, given our shared history together.

anyway this song rules, jeff rosenstock can only create bangers

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I've been listening to angry music all morning, and I think that was a bad idea.
Going back to thinking happy thoughts on purpose.

What up, I'm Justin, I'm 40, and I never learned how to deal with my emotions in a productive manner.

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The Snake Post Office

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